A Wedding in July

I don't remember if we received formal invitations to the wedding, or if the bride just casually asked us.

Regardless, we were very dedicated friends, still in college, and decided to go.

So Evie Kelley, Ms. Lois Lane, (who were each working on their degree in Journalism, as was the bride) and I (except me, I'm a Health Education girl) all hopped into Evie's car, I think the car's name was Frances, and headed south to the wedding.

Yuma, Arizona.

July.

July Fourth weekend, to be exact.

Yes we asked ourselves, "Who the fuck decides to get married July Fourth weekend in Yuma?" but, we figured we're hott (so hott we need a second t), we're young, and maybe they'll be some hott dudes for Evie and Ms. Lane (I had a boyfriend, and we later got married in the desert, too, but not in Yuma and not in July).

After all, there's an Army base in Yuma. That should increase the girls' chances exponentially.

On the way down, I dared Evie to flash a trucker her boobs. She didn't. She said she's not that skilled to flash and drive at the same time. I offered to hold the wheel. She declined.

"GODDAMN!!! If it doesn't smell like some shit in this town!!!!!!!!!" I said as we pulled in. Unbeknownst to us, there's also a large agricultural community in Yuma.

I remember that night, the Fourth of July, Evie, Lois, and I drove around, most likely looking for booze and men. I remember seeing fireworks through Frances' front windshield. I don't remember finding men for Evie and Lois. I do remember consuming large quantities of margaritas at the bride's apartment the night before the wedding.

I also remember the bride having to take prescription painkillers the night before her wedding and puking all night. The directions on the bottle of medication said to take with food. To me, that means a meal. To the bride, that meant a tortilla.

I remember the bride having a walk-in closet big enough to make a triangle in. I also remember Evie, Lois, and I getting so blasted at the wedding that we could have formed a triangle in the closet, but we didn't.

Then Evie, Lois, and I headed back up to the northern end of Arizona, where it was about a million degrees cooler.

Not sure what happened to the bride. I remember receiving a thank you note. Then Evie and I chatted on the phone, and I don't remember exactly who said what, but the conversation went something like this:

"Did you get the thank you?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. So, did you get an original, or a photo copy?"

"Copy."

"Hmmph."

"What the fuck?"

"Goddamn, if it doesn't smell like some shit in this town."

I remember seeing her at Evie's college graduation ceremony. It was a little awkward, kind of like bumping into an old friend who you used to be close with and one of you got into a relationship and the person you were with completely dominated your life and if you were caught talking to your old friend, your significant other was going to come unglued.

We haven't heard from her since.

Every once in a great while, when Evie and I and I are together, we'll will look her up on the Web, with no luck. Probably best to let sleeping dogs lie on that one.

Not sure whatever happened to Lois Lane, either. I wonder if she found her Superman.