Nursing Bras

Nursing bras are not hot. They're functional. And, it's a learned art to be able to use one, especially in public.

I shopped around a bit before heading out on this new endeavor. I found a nursing bra on-line which is hot, but I'm not ready to pony up $110 + tax and shipping for an f-ing bra. Honestly.




And, while I respect that Agent Provocateur is helping the lactating woman to feel sexy, in reality, I feel anything but.

So, I headed over to the Evil Empire, because I'm one of those girls who needs to try bras on before I purchase one, and I've become a bit more practical since Baby Kaos was born (you can stop laughing anytime now). And, I HATE shopping for bras. I used to go to Victoria's Secret, but they're not in the habit of producing nursing bras; at least I didn't find any.

I purchased two styles of nursing bras.

This image is from the cover of one of my bras.
This image says, "I feel like such a sex kitten when I'm lactating!" Honestly, bitch, I don't think you're in touch with reality. At least my reality and the reality of many breastfeeding women I know. Also, I think this bra is for the A-cuppers out there. It's not ok for the 38-DD women because there is no coverage and no support.

This image is from the cover of one the other style of bra that I purchased.

This image says, "I'm about to feed the baby for the fourth time in 8 hours. What the fuck do you want?"

I purchased two more of these bras. Mostly because this is the bra that fits and covers my boobs the best and doesn't make my boobs sit on my stomach (trust me--not a fun thing). Partly because I like the model's 'tude. Anyone who says, "I'm lactating, your penis isn't really important to me right now" is a-ok in my book.

Ladybugs Picnic

I hope they still have this on Sesame Street when it's time for Baby Kaos to start watching television in a few years.

'I'm allergic to modern living'

"The 39-year-old is so sensitive to the electromagnetic field (emf) or 'smog' created by computers, mobile phones, microwave ovens and even some cars, that she develops a painful skin rash and her eyelids swell to three times their size if she goes near them."

Oh, Sweet Jesus.

Sucks to be her for the following:
1. Cost--it cost her family a ton of money to outfit their home to protect her. But, when it comes to a person's health, money shouldn't matter (but we all know it does).

2. What would happen if she needed to get a CT scan or some other type of medical diagnostic?

3. I presume this means no vibrator for her. Oh well...I guess she cums the old fashioned way, she earns it!

Rants & Raves

There’s a section in my local Sunday paper called “Rants & Raves”.

In the 2/25/07 paper, somebody ranted about a diabetic injecting themselves in the stomach with insulin, whilst in a restaurant. They felt it wasn’t appropriate for the diabetic to behave in such a manner.

In the 3/4/07 paper, there were five rants that were in response to that rant. There was this one rant that stood out above all the others:

“What is wrong with a diabetic giving themselves an insulin injection at an eatery? It is not like they are being an exhibitionist by breastfeeding or showing a lack of manners like talking with their mouth full of food or picking their nose or any other distasteful action.”

I didn’t realize that feeding my infant with my breast in a public place is the same thing as “1: a perversion in which sexual gratification is obtained from the indecent exposure of one's genitals (as to a stranger) b: an act of such exposure; 2: the act or practice of behaving so as to attract attention to oneself.”

Huh. Glad to know that I’m getting some type of sexual gratification out of feeding my infant in public. I feel so sexy when my baby’s hungry and I need to feed him. It’s such a turn on to have a hungry baby trying to latch while I’m getting dirty looks from some people. In fact, it’s such a turn that I’ve left the restaurant and fed him in the truck.

I was also unaware that me breastfeeding my son is me behaving in a manner that I’m trying to attract attention to myself. Wow. I thought it was better for me to stick my tit in his mouth and feed him than for him to go hungry and wail about it the entire time. I guess next time I’ll know better. Just don’t bitch at me when he’s crying and tell me that I’m a horrible mother for letting him starve rather than exposing my breast. And, no, I’m not giving him a bottle. Bottles aren’t an option for Baby Kaos. He took them from Zel when I first went back to work, but he’s a straight from the tap kind of a guy. Furthermore, we avoid similac and other artificial mommy juice at all costs. Breast is best.

I also didn’t know that the act of my son drinking milk from my breast is in the same category of one “talking with their mouth full or picking their nose or any other distasteful action.” I don’t even know what to say to this. But, feel free to picture me with my eyes closed, slowly shaking my head no and taking deep breaths.

In the 3/11/07 paper, there were two rants in response to the anti-breast-feeding rant. Both rants basically said that breast feeding in our state is protected under state law, we’re not exhibitionists, and that we’re using our breasts for what they were intended for, not what our society thinks they were for. Solidarity, sister.