Maternity Photos

Zel and I just had our photos professionally taken. The last time we had our photos professionally taken was at our wedding, over seven years ago.

The photographer shot both of us, which took about an hour.

Then Zel left and she shot me for about 2 hours.

I was naked. Or, as the in-laws from the south say, nekked.

The photographer did strategically place some gauze across my breasts and my hairy pussy.

Baby Kaos is due in less than 30 days. So, I have quite the Bulging Baby Belly.

The photographer did tell us that when we’re in our 50’s, we would be really glad that we had these images taken.

Demi Moore had maternity photos taken in 1991. She was so unashamed of being pregnant she appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Good for her. She was beautiful. She still is. I mean, she’s Demi Fucking Moore, yo.

I’m actually surprised that maternity photos didn’t take off 15 years ago, when Demi was nekked on VF.

Maybe it’s because having your pictures taken is a lot of work. I’m F-ing exhausted, you guys.

When I got home, I told Zel it is goddamned hard being Cindy Crawford for an afternoon. No wonder that woman demands millions of dollars to have her picture taken.