Childbirth Education Class

We started our Child Birth Education Class. It’s actually a series of classes. There are 8 of them. The first four discuss what to expect during labor and delivery, and provides us with some helpful tips.

Yes, there’s that whole “breathing thing”. But, Stephanie the Childbirth Educator said the important thing is to breathe because if you don’t breathe then it takes oxygen rich blood away from the baby and sends oxygen rich blood to your extremities, which is part of the fight or flight response to stress. If blood goes to your extremities and away from you uterus, you have a more difficult labor.

There are 14 couples in the class (Mel, that’s 28 people). That’s a goddamned lot of babies on the way.

A few babies are due in a couple of weeks. There are several babies that aren’t due until the end of August or beginning of September. There’s one baby that’s not due until October. Take it down a notch, Mom. You could’ve started a bit later. Really. Don’t be so goddamned over zealous about squeezing that baby out’cha pussy.

Zel and I are one of two “older” couples in the class. The other “older” couple is…well, she’s probably close to 40, and he looks like he’s about 30. Not sure, but whatever works for them is fine, just fine.

All of the other couples are in their mid-twenties. There don’t seem to be any expecting moms that are in their teens, which is a good thing! (Does that mean our prevention programs are working? Because we know abstinence only programs aren't working. The kids are a-fuckin'!).

There was one dude who had on a General Lee shirt. You heard me. General. Lee.

He clearly didn’t want to be there. I’m not making this statement because he was wearing a General Lee shirt. I’m making this statement because he sat there with his arms a crossed his chest with a scowl on his face for most of the class. His wife seemed kind of into class. But he was forced to be there. Bless her heart. I hope she’s up for the challenge.