My Parents and Computers

The thing that frightens me about My Parents and computers and the Internet is that they don’t know how to use either one.

It frightens me because my entire life, they pushed education, and, they’re unwilling to educate themselves how to use the computers and the Web.

They’re Baby Boomers.

Isn’t this the generation that took the world by storm?

Isn’t this the generation that protested Vietnam?

Isn’t this the generation that had the great musicians?

The Beatles. The Stones. The Who. Zeppelin. Springsteen.

Some of whom inspired people to get up off their lazy asses and do something?

Dylan. Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.

Isn’t this the generation where the sexual revolution started? Aren’t they the last generation to fuck anything it wanted to without fear of contracting HIV?

The other thing that frightens me about My Parents and computers is that by not being willing to learn, I think they’re making themselves functionally illiterate. There are senior citizens in my community (and throughout the world) that have not only learned to use computers and the Web, but embraced the technology.

Zel and I can’t function without our computer or access to the Web.

All of our music is on the computer, and the music is on from the time we get out of bed until we go to bed late in the night.

We get our news from the Web.

We stay in touch with our friends, who live all over the place, via email.

And, don’t get me started with the shopping I can do on-line. The closest mall is a 90 minute car ride away. I love the fact that I can shop without having to travel...or be presentable to the rest of humanity. I’m able to maintain the Baby Kaos registries on-line. Because we didn’t purchase the stock when it was a brand new company, I kick myself every time we purchase something from Amazon.com.

When our ISP is down, Zel and I get crabby. We start to shake. We’re mean to each other. We’re Web Addicts. We consider going to a Web Anonymous meeting, but we’re not down with the 12 steps. We can’t get past the first one: “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable,” because we can still manage our lives. We can function.

Then there’s the business end of it. I cannot comprehend how offices were run before computers and email. I submit my monthly reports to the State on the Web. I’m able to email colleagues and not have to waste money playing phone tag.

Zel is teaching summer school right now, and the courses are on-line. He’ll teach most of his classes on-line after Baby Kaos is born (nice for lots of reasons!).

I do want my parents to be on-line, but when they were, if I didn’t email my Mom back within 5 minutes, she’d freak out and call me.

It happened when they were on-line before. "Amelia!" she would scream into the answering machine, because I would be at work. "Why haven't you emailed me back yet? I emailed you a few minutes ago and I haven't heard back from you! Are you ok? What if you slipped in the shower and you hit your head? Should I call the LVPD?!"

I guess you pick your poison.