Stupid Bitch

Does it say “Stupid Bitch” on my forehead?

No.

Funny, because I was treated like a Stupid Bitch today when I went to have another key made for my truck. I have one of those fancy-pants keys that has the plastic above the teeth, but the plastic part broke and I can only super glue that shit so many times before I decide to break down and spend the money.

I went to the dealership where I purchased my truck, and went up to the counter. Nobody was there, so I rang the bell. Waited. Nobody came. Rang the bell again. Finally, Schmoe showed up. I’d never seen him before. Where’s the cute guy who sold me my tires? The one who could sell me a used lollipop stick?

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“I need to have another key made for my truck, please,” I said.

“We can probably do that,” said Schmoe.

Probably. Nice.

“How much does it cost?” I asked.

“Well, if you get the same type of key you have now, only it’s all metal and it has the plastic around it, it’s $7.00,” he said.

“That’s fine,” I’m not loosing sleep. After all, it’s not like I’m drinking lattes right now. But, for seven goddamned dollars, I better get more than "Probably."

I gave him my key and he starts to go to the back, but he stopped, held up my key and said, “Don’t get rid of this key, now.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t intend to.”

I’m standing there waiting for Schmoe to come back up with my both keys, and I’m starting to think, “Does this clown think I’m a Stupid Bitch? Honestly.”

He comes back up and says, “Now, is your car here?”

“Yes.”

“Because we should really check this before you leave. Why don’t you tell me which car is yours and I’ll go check it for you,” he said.

I said, “No thanks, I can do that.” I take both keys and head out to my truck thinking, “What the fuck? Does he treat all women this way? Or just the pregnant ones? And, since you work with the public, you may want to get that fungus on your fingernails taken care of, A-hole.”

The key worked. On my way back in I was thinking, “I should’ve let him do it because the alarm was set and he would’ve looked like an A-hole.”

I go back in and he gives me my receipt, I thank him. I then take my receipt to the lovely woman behind the cashier’s counter. I tend to give her lots and lots of money and she’s always pleasant. Imagine that.

I wanted to ask her, “Does he treat all women like they’re Stupid Bitches? Or just the pregnant ones?”

But, I refrained.

Then, when I got home, I made sure to wash my hands. I'll probably take another goddamned shower. Don’t want a goddamned fungus.