Learn to do Your own Laundry

I learned today that he Most Eligible Bachelor in the County doesn’t do his own laundry.

I bumped into him in the hall. Literally. Didn’t intend to. Just bumped into each other.

I said, “You’re shirt looks a little stiff. Did you use a bit too much starch?”

“No”, he said. “I didn’t do it.”

I looked at him quizzically.

“The little man at the cleaner’s does it," he said.

I gave him another look. “The ‘little man’?”

“Yeah. He comes to my office and picks up my laundry and does it and then drops it off in my office again when he’s done,” he said.

“Sweet Jesus! Don’t you know how to do your own laundry? Didn’t everyone learn to do that when they were like 10?” I said.

“I’ve gotta go,” and he starts to walk away. He was embarrassed. I learned from the Contract Queen that he does this a lot.

I follow.

“I’ve got this friend who knows how to do laundry. She’s hot,” I said.

He stopped walking and perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah. And she’s single and very intelligent,” I said.

“Where does she live?”

“D.C.”

“My brother lives in D.C.,” he said.

I perked up for Melanie’s sake. “Oh?”

“He’s married with kid number two on the way.”

I was disappointed. “Oh.”

I changed my tune quickly, though. “I’m going to visit her soon. I’ll be sure to mention I know a professional in his early thirties who needs some laundry tips. She’s pretty good at laundry. She used to wash her clothes in a bucket when she lived in West Africa.” I have no idea if Melanie actually did her laundry in a bucket or had the one of the village children do it, but it sounded good at the time.

He was interested, at least in the fact that my good friend was in West Africa. I knew this because he said, “What was she doing in West Africa?”

“She was in the Peace Corps for 2 years and taught English.”

“Wow.” He seemed impressed.

“Well, I can either mention the laundry thing to her or you can learn to do your own laundry.”

“Whatever you want to do,” he said. “But I like to help the little man and the local economy.”

“Super,” I said. "See you later!" And I walked away.