Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time is a bunch of bullshit.

Since leaving the Great State of Arizona in 1998, I've had to change my clock by an hour, twice annually.

My Grandma told me that when my Dad was a boy, the residents of the Great State of Arizona voted to decide whether they wanted to participate in these shenanigans. According to WebExhibits.org, "Daylight Saving Time is NOT observed in Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Arizona, and most of the Eastern Time Zone portion of Indiana."

The residents of these states and territories are brilliant. When we moved from Arizona, we lost our glow of brilliance. We are now merely intelligent.

Every time I change my clock, I feel like I have jet lag for a week. Of course, being super tired makes me a super crab. And, did I mention I get to do this twice a year? Yep...once every six months, I get to fuck up my sleep schedule.

Why? I have to give credit for this to Benjamin Franklin. Apparently he was the first person to conceive of the idea of Daylight Saving Time. Bastard.

In the spring, we "Spring Forward". And in the fall, we "Fall Back". Cute. I wish Daylight Saving Time would spring forward so far it removes itself off the face of the earth and never falls back.

Really, it's another way for the government to control the people. In order for them to make sure they have complete control over us, the first weekend in April and last weekend in October we gain and lose time. It's not quite as cool as Star Trek. If it was, I wouldn't be bitching about it.

However, He Who is Not So Bright, a.k.a. "W", recently made it law that, in the U.S. in 2007, we'll be "Springing Forward" the second week in March and "Falling Back" the first Sunday in November.

What? Excuse me? Who decided to write this law? Sweet Jesus. They really need to find better things to do with their time and my money in D.C.

Is it a coincidence that He Who is Not So Bright hasn't lived in one of the above mentioned states or territories? Perhaps.

Some people theorize that we have less accidents, thus we are safer, because there is more light. Well, lemme ask you, when it's December and January, and there are little kids out waiting for the school bus at 7:00 am and it's goddamn cold and goddamn dark, and the sun isn't coming up for another 90 minutes, how is that safer? Am I missing something?

And, twice a year, prior to changing our clocks, I get to have the following conversation with my office mates (there are three of us):

"Don't forget to change your clock this weekend."

"Are we gaining or loosing an hour this time?"

"I don't know. I hate this. In Arizona, we didn't have to do this. That state knows what's goin' on. Really, Daylight Saving Time is just a bunch of bullshit."

Usually, this gets an eye roll from both of them. But the one who lived in Arizona for a few years agrees with me.

The Monday after we change time, one of them inevitably comes in to the office and is in a major tizzy and says, "Ugh! I'm late because I forgot to change my clock!"

One of my office mates was born and raised in My Little Town. The other has lived all over the U.S. They've been doing this time warp shit a lot longer than I have, but it never fails: one of them forgets to change her clocks.

Maybe they fail to change their clocks intentionally because they secretly don't want to conform.

But really, it's really all just a bunch of bullshit.