Not sure how she's gonna take this one

Well, my friend, Lee, who is a techie girl and loves all things Apple, I hate to break this to you. But the Empire is selling the iPhone.

But, bigger picture, why do my last two posts link to the Empire?

Wanda and the lettuce spinner

Today, Toddler Kaos wanted to play with the lettuce spinner. Fine. He's sick. I'm the mom who believes that when the child is sick, pretty much all rules (except hitting, kicking and moving the dining room furniture) are thrown out the window.

Besides, the lettuce spinner has been around for nearly 10 years. Time to get a new one is coming. Sooner if the spinner conveniently breaks under the watch of Toddler Kaos.

So, we put all sorts of things in the spinner, including his new Spud Buds (no, I didn't pay that much for it. I patronize the Empire.) We also put in the new flashlight that he received for Christmas and then spun the spinner--it was like having a disco in the living room. For a two-year-old. We also put Wanda the Witch in there. Don't worry, she's stuffed.

Toddler Kaos had enough of the salad spinner about 5 hours after we took it out. Daddy put it in the sink, because it was the best hiding place at the time. That was about 12 noon.

I just found Wanda in the spinner...after nearly 10 hours. Sorry Wanda.

DUH!

For years, I've been saying Celine can't sing. I'm glad someone finally agrees with me. And, don't forget to add Mariah Carey to the list. She and Celine are the only ones who understand each other because they talk dolphin-speak.

It's kinda like Bob Dylan, Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen. They are the only three dudes on the planet that can understand what the other one is saying.

No really, stop fucking

I've never seen an episode. I originally learned about the reality show "17 Kids and Counting" from my favorite show, "The Soup" on E!

Mind you, we don't watch a lot of television and are baffled by our friends who have 2-year-olds that can sit through an entire 90 minute movie; but I digress...that's a post for another time.

Anyway, on the one hand, congratulations to the family for

1. giving birth to a healthy baby
2. having a healthy mom
   
3. picking out name #18 that starts with the letter J. And, no, they didn't repeat any names.

On the other hand, no really, stop fucking. Please. Or, get fixed. Please.

And, the dad's name is Jim Bob, so do I even need to say anything else?

Christmas Letters

Tis the season! We just received our first Christmas Letter from a friend of ours. It was a 2-page, size 2 font. Not kidding. We needed a magnifying lens just to read it.

There are three people in her family. Two pages. Two point font. Sweet Jesus. And, keep in mind, my friend is a hippie and wants to reduce the carbon footprint. Never mind that she probably used a half a ream of paper to mail her letter, photo booklet (I'm not kidding) and envelopes.

My son isn't much of a napper, so a lot of things have been cut out of life:

Quilting: which I still manage to find time to do. But only in like 5 minute spurts.
Cleaning: I vacuum when I get around to it. Zel empties the dishwasher, I load it. I wipe down the bathrooms with Clorox wipes when I can. I love those Clorox wipes!
Blogging: C'mon! My last entry was nearly 6 months ago. Honestly. I don't get to pee too much during the day, let alone blog!

I thought about doing a Christmas Letter. But it would be a Holiday Letter, so that way I'd be covering both the Jews and the Christian denominations in our families and our Atheist friends.

But, I don't have time for that shit. And, let's face it, letters aren't personal. I'd much rather take a few minutes to hand write out a card to our friends and family and then I can personalize, to a certain extent, each card. Not that I have much time for that either.

Anyway, just my 2 cents on Christmas Letters.

And, just to save everyone some time: Happy Effing Holidays!!