“Amelia?” I hear from the other side of my new six foot tall Dilbert wall. I love having a wall that tall. People don’t know if I’m there and I have the option of answering.
I decide to take the plunge. “Hello?” I call in a friendly tone.
The Most Eligible Bachelor in the County steps around the corner. He had on my Favorite Man’s Outfit: button-down shirt, which was tucked in; jeans; dress shoes. Any man can put on my Favorite Man’s Outfit, and there’s an increased chance I’ll drop to my knees and blow him. (Zel wears jeans, a t-shirt, a flannel, and Doc boots to work everyday. I used to blow him frequently, but the pregnancy has caused me to have a serious gag reflex, which is just not cool.)
We’re scheduled to have a meeting in 10 minutes. Unfortunately, there are other people who are supposed to attend the meeting, so there won’t be a disco ball and pole dropping from the ceiling.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him since I’ve been back from D.C. However, we’ve chatted on the phone and emailed. I suppressed the physical urge that washed over me to start stripping, since there is a small disco ball hanging above my desk.
We exchange pleasantries. Then he says, “Are you teaching a course on Sexuality at the college next quarter?” (in the Pacific Northwest, we have three 10-week quarters in the school year, not two 16-week semesters like the rest of the world)
I wasn’t expecting this from him, but I’m pleasantly surprised.
I said, “The course is being offered. It remains to be seen if the course will actually make and I’ll teach it. How did you hear about it?”
“I read about it in the paper this morning. Did you do a news release?” Then he looked at me quizzically.
“The college did a news release to try and boost my numbers,” I said. “As far as it making, there needs to be a minimum of 12 students for the class to go. Right now I have six. Are you interested in registering?”
“Oh. Well, I hope you get to teach it. No, I don’t think I need to take it,” he said.
“Thanks. I hope it does too. You should take it; you never know what you’re going to learn,” I said.
“Well…”
“Well, it’s probably better if you don’t because then we couldn’t hang out for 10 weeks while school is in session.” Because we do so much hanging out, he and I.
He said, “Really? Why’s that?”
I said, “Because I’d be your teacher. I’d be in a power position over you and it can be perceived that we’re hanging out because you want a good grade.”
I tell him this story about how Lee told Zel and Zel told me that there were two young students, male and female, in front of Lee’s office, looking at the flyer the college created for me to promote my course. Lee kept walking, because she wanted to hear what they had to say. The good thing about community colleges is that you can’t tell if the 30-somethings are instructors or students. So, Lee hears the male student say, “This is just wrong.” The girl said nothing. They walked away and Lee went into her office.
The Most Eligible Bachelor in the County asked, “What do you think about that?”
“Well,” I said. “I think that he is a young member of the conservative Christian right, who is a virgin, and thinks that the only way to have sex is in the missionary position, because he hasn’t been properly schooled by the right woman. I think she could rock his world, and wants to take the class, but she’s too meek to stand up for herself at this point in her life. I also think…well, I better quit there before I get accused of sexually harassing the attorney.”
“No, no. You don’t have to worry about that,” he said as he chuckled.
He really opened a door for me. Perhaps he even waved me in.
But, I was trying to maintain a certain level of professionalism. “Well, I also think this is a very conservative county, and I’m not completely sure I’ll be teaching Human Sexuality next quarter.”
“I hope you get to teach it,” he said.
“Thanks. I appreciate the support.”
And then we talked about what we were going to talk about in the meeting, which was not nearly as exciting as the previous discussion.
I just came home from the local adult store. My Little Town only has one. In fact, it's the only one in the entire county (red county; not proud of this).
